“Damn it, Amazon: SHIP THIS CRAP ALREADY!”
It’s a mantra for many right about now, I’d assume, and your
humble blogger is certainly one of them.
Is it partially my fault for being so late to the spending frenzy? No, not at all! I ordered this stuff LAST WEEKEND, blast
it! That’s FIVE WHOLE BUSINESS DAYS
before Christmas Eve – why aren’t these
frigging elves who fill the smiley-face boxes working faster? They can rest in February, for fuck’s
sake! Bluster! Screaming! Per-blickety arrggggghhhhhhhhh!
Of course I do know better; the irony is not lost upon me
that I (a) worked Christmas Retail in a brick-and-mortar store for nearly a
decade, and (b) I sound just a weensy bit like what I always despised in that
role. So it’s time to take a step back,
breathe for a minute, realize that (a) Amazon guarantees this stuff will be at
my door by Christmas Eve at the latest, and (b) even if it isn’t, so what? It’ll still be loved, as will I. Ahh, that’s better. How about some Holiday music, then, now that
we’re all calmed down? An excellent
idea; one of the great things about being a few years removed from retail is
that I’ve really begun to enjoy Christmas music again this year. Hell, I’ve even got some on my iPhone right
now. Here, then, is a personal favorite,
presented in two distinct versions – something for every mood, kinda:
Into the Christmas vibe / Cheesy:
Showing your true colors / Snarky:
The smartest among you will, of course, watch both.
And the dumbest among you – by which I mean me – will now go
check your email inboxes to see if THAT
STUPID SHIPPING NOTICE IS THERE YET. If
you’ll excuse me….
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