Monday, February 6, 2012

The Super Bowl: My Reaction

I don't actually follow football at all, but I'm glad the Giants won.  For two reasons: firstly and mostly because some of my nearest and dearest truly love that team.  I mean every word of that sincerely. (Kristina, I'm looking at you.)  Secondly, I always root for New York Anything to beat Not New York Anything.  I mean every word of that sincerely, too.  Now that I'm done wearing my heart on my sleeve, we can move on to this:

DID I SERIOUSLY SEE AN AD FOR A FUCKING BATTLESHIP MOVIE?  As in a movie based on the classic board game from my and your and likely your parents' childhood?  How in the high holy hell are they possibly going to make a movie out of this:

You sunk my battleship!

While I see that it stars folks like Rihanna and Liam Neeson, I also notice that neither they nor their co-stars are credited as "red peg" or "blue peg", and I'm forced to wonder just how faithful this silly flick is going to be to its source material.  Really: how can you make a movie out of a game with no freaking characters?  What's next, Hollywood?  Monopoly starring Kevin Costner as Mediterranean Avenue and OJ Simpson in a comeback role as the GO TO JAIL space?  Honestly, there aren't nearly enough unnecessary italics and/or capital letters to describe just how completely, UTTERLY, TOTALLY ridiculous I find the whole stupid idea of a film - no, this is a movie, not a film - based on BATTLESHIP of all things.  Aaarrrgh!  Bleaaarrrgh!  Doerjnbpejrnhgsongf#$&%(@&%(!!!!!!!


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