This is real. It was not intended as a work of parody. At best, it's what some group of holy-rollin' whack-a-loons considers "comedic" or "snarky" or "hip" or something. At worst, it's the sort of uninformed rhetoric that reinforces the idea that sex is somehow dirty, something that only those kinds of teenagers even dare to momentarily think about. Thank you, upstanding moralists, for making adolescence even more fun by telling kids that their urges - which occur naturally and are completely, hormonally unavoidable by the way - are IMPURE and, obviously, the first stop on the road to ruin.
Somebody needs to introduce The Purity Bear to Sexual Harassment Panda, stat!