I love stuff like this. From today's thoroughly overstuffed email inbox:
Hey there! Haven't got a clue what the old ball and chain might like under the tree (or, let's face it, left carelessly unwrapped on the kitchen table sometime around the 25th)? Man, do we, your robot cyber-shopping overlords, ever feel your pain! I mean, holy birthday baby Jesus, who actually listens to 'em talk, right? Sheesh, it's like those dopey broads actually expect you to know something about them. Damn Oprah and her radical ideas.
I've already got all of Rhea's presents either in house or in transit. Perhaps unsurprisingly, there is no overlap between what I have chosen for her and what this oh-so-helpful email has recommended. Still, what the hell; let's play along. There are four images in the email above:
* Say Anything: I think Rhea might actually own this one on DVD. If not, it's on cable often enough that she probably doesn't need to.
* Footloose soundtrack. The 2011 remake version, from the looks of it. Talk about a gift that practically yells "I don't care!"
* Crazy Stupid Love: I could see Rhea catching this one on cable, maybe. Mostly if she were tired and looking for something to doze in and out to.
* Beyoncé, 4: Rhea might physically beat me over the head with the disc if I bought her this. Something about hearing "Single Ladies" 1,234,232,934 times in the past few years will do that to you.
But wait, there's more! Well, not really, but there is a click-through to a longer list, divided into eight sub-categories. Crooners! New Country! Romances! Romantic Comedies! Chick Flicks! (Apparently, those last three are all different things. I learn something new every day, lemme tellya.) '80s Movies! New Pop! Current R&B! Holy conspicuous consumerism, Batman, there's so many choices!
We have now reached the part of this post where I pause to be a big old cheese-ball and bask in the glow of having a partner that I know - and enjoy knowing - well enough as to not need a stupid mass-email list of trite, clichéd crap-ola like this. I mean, seriously: did they run out of Lifetime movies or something?