Monday, September 12, 2011

This Is How You Deal

This is a joke that requires a little bit of setup: when a retailer goes bankrupt, they are purchased and taken over by a liquidation company.  These liquidation companies do nothing else but blow the merchandise out of soon-to-be ghosts of retail past.  Once a particular failed retailer's liquidation sale has ended, the liquidation company warehouses anything that didn't move, and then transfers that merchandise to the next company they are charged with ushering to the egress.  This is how Borders - the famous book and music store that I once worked for - has come to sell all sorts of blankets, bathrobes and the like.  If I had to guess, they're probably onetime Linens & Things offerings; at the very least, it's that kind of merchandise.

My co-workers made me love them even a bit more than I already did by altering the (useless, really; all sales final and all of that) receipts to print the following.  For reference's sake, the text below the Borders logo generally reads BORDERS BOOKS, MUSIC & CAFE.

Dear prospective employers looking for smart, creative help: HIRE THESE PEOPLE.  That is all.


  1. It absolutely is! Borders 219 = home to geniuses whom shall remain nameless for now, mostly because I met their liquidator guy last week, and he seemed like the vindictive jerk type.