But theory is not reality, and in reality I am an
exceptionally poor Gen-X'er, because I've never been really sold on Cobain or
his band. Not back then when,
admittedly, I owned the tape just like every other angsty seventeen year old,
and not now with the benefit of retrospect.
Look, I grant you that the guy was FOR REAL, MAN. Dying of self-inflicted bullet wounds says
more about that than an entire army of snarky writers could hope to. Sadly, sincerity alone isn't enough to make
great music, and that's always been the core of why, at least for me, Nevermind's myth is simply that. All of that said, it has been twenty years since
the world allegedly changed. Why don't
we give the bean-counters over at Geffen their due, in a backhanded sort of way? I'll pass on the multiple discs of barrel
scrapings, thanks - hell, I don't even like the original album very much, as
should be obvious by now - but let's have a bit of fun examining its impact.
shall we?
Nevermind was the album that finally brought PUNK ROCK to the
masses! In a manner of speaking, I
suppose. Honestly, Nevermind's connection to punk has always seemed a bit tenuous to
me; it always seemed a bit too slow 'n' sludgy for that particular horse
race. Still, the album certainly took
its cues from a decade-ish of punk and indie ("college rock",
whatever) music that had preceded it. It
wrapped all of that up in a big, blue, baby-penis bow and brought it to the
production counter for a full-budget spit 'n' polish. Result: radio play, sales explosion. This is not a bad thing, mind you: the myth
that all artistically substantial music must sound like unmitigated sonic slime
is propagated by dudes who look like Steve Albini and don't get laid nearly
often enough. That's a scientifically
proven fact, by the way. Nevermind paved the way for recordings
of music I liked a whole lot more to sound as good as they should, and that's
one of the few things I actually like about it.
Credit where due, or "+1", depending on your age.
It's a solid, classic
album full of great songs. Not
hardly. I'll grant you that the first
1,284,983 times I heard it, the album's famous lead single was something to
write home about: great sound, nice catchy chorus hook, good beat and you could
dance to it, at least in an awkward, hormonal fashion. The rest of the album offered little more
than self-flagellation, rendered over great drums and indifferent guitars and
notably lacking in hooks. Alright, sure,
there's also "Come As You Are", but let's be honest for a minute,
shall we? That's pretty much a cover,
isn't it? Ahh, Killing Joke, now that's some punk rock for ya.
But it killed hair
metal. You hate hair metal, Will, so why
weren't you happy? Simple: because
replacing something lousy and dopey with something differently lousy and dopey
isn't my idea of progress. True, the
vast majority of hair metal seems fairly vapid and worthless to me, and it's
equally true that I often point to Poison as being my vote for the worst popular
rock 'n' roll band of all time. But was
the newly-clothed emperor really the breath of fresh air his sycophants
claimed? Take this little pop quiz: who
am I describing? Simplistic, three-chord
songs played by serviceable but not especially distinguished musicians, topped
off by nasal singer dishing out meaningless nonsense. The answer, of course, is "both Poison
and Nirvana". Seriously, do you
really mean to tell me that Cobain's mumbledy-mumbledy-kill-myself-mumbledy
shtick is somehow more worthwhile or profound than Bret Michaels' come here pretty baby and suck my cock
bullshit? Both were equally REAL, mind
you; that is, both flavors of gibberish likely accurately reflected the
artist's mindset at the time. While I never want to hear another note by
either band again, I know whose tour bus sounds like it was probably a lot more
fun.
Fine, we get it, you
thought Nirvana were shit. But it bears
repeating: they got rid of all that metal crap! Yeah, but the problem there is that there's
as much great metal in the world as there is great punk rock, not to mention
plenty of top-notch bands who bravely refuse to acknowledge the distinction. Ever heard the one about
the baby and the bath water?
But Kurt Cobain was
the voice of our generation! The
hell he was. I didn't shoot myself. If you're reading this, then you didn't shoot
yourself. If anybody wants to tell you
that the voice of your generation had so little to actually say that he shot
himself, I'd recommend that you pound your fists on the nearest available
surface and demand a better representative, loudly.
You know, I'm not
really that into Nirvana anymore, but they did get me listening to better
stuff. This is the other
"+1" I'm willing to hand out.
I'll give Cobain this much: he was always pretty open about his
influences. If he is the reason that
names like Hüsker Dü or the Wipers or the Replacements or the Meat Puppets or
X...or, hell, even Cheap Trick for that matter first crossed the consciousness
of you or someone you love then good on him, even if he remains proof positive
that you can in fact make a bad band out of good taste.
Fine, I give up. They were still better than Pearl Jam,
though. Fair enough, another
"+1" for a total of three, then.
True, it's not a lot of credit in the face of so many demerits, but oh
well whatever nevermind, every rose has its thorn, and life, for those of us
brave enough to continue to face it, goes on.
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