Sunday, June 26, 2011

New York, Welcome to the Modern World!

“Some of my best friends are gay” is an irredeemably dorky thing to say at best; at worst, it’s often the prelude to some sort of breathless stream of bigotry.  Please take me at my word: in my and Rhea’s case, it’s the simple truth.  As such, this has been an extraordinary weekend here in New York State; the view from the twenty-first century is breathtaking, thank you for asking.  As corny as this may sound, I actually sleep better at night knowing that all of my loved ones now have equal protections under the laws of a state I’ve always been proud to hail from.  To those for whom the events of this weekend have been a more personal victory, please allow me to offer my most heartfelt, heartiest congratulations as well as apologize on behalf of those living on the lamer end of the straight spectrum who have held up this logical and necessary event for so long.

For those still clinging to the previous century with the tightest grip they can muster, please allow me to offer you a few words of wisdom:

Your religious beliefs are not absolute.  In fact, they may not even be the most commonly held ones on your block, let alone the entire world taken as a whole.  The landscape of humanity is just as diverse as Benetton's advertising would have you believe, and as such there is nothing wrong with the laws of the land duly reflecting this.

All this talk of “family values” is, in fact, valueless.  The divorce rate amongst heterosexual couples generally hovers somewhere in the vicinity of fifty percent, and has for some time now.  Before you begin to wax morally superior about something, it might help to actually exhibit some skill at it.

In the rational, thinking world, this has never been a religious issue.  In fact, only faith-based bigotry towards homosexuals has made this a question of religion.  This is about legal status, and it is about telling all of our tired, huddled masses that they are just as welcome as their neighbors.  Allow me to turn the tables on you, dear stereotypical true religious believer, for a moment: I do not agree with your belief system.  I find many of your ideals – such as those forbidding gay marriage – archaic and irrelevant to modern life, not to mention more than a bit bigoted.  The path you have chosen is not one I’m interested in becoming involved with.  However – and I’ve italicized that because this concept is huge – I would never dream of so much as telling you, let alone lobby for laws enforcing the idea, that you have no right to believe and live as you do.  It is a pity that you cannot say the same for yourselves.

No one is interested in crashing your churches, temples, etc. and forcing you to marry them.  Seriously, grow up.  Nobody really likes to hang out where they’re clearly not wanted.  Given that my views on life probably put me only a half a step, if that, above homosexuals to most hard-line religious folks, I can assure you that the cool kids table is located elsewhere, and not likely to relocate anytime soon.

Last, and most importantly, three simple words you should already be aware of: love thy brother.  Should he turn out to have a boyfriend, this concept does not become invalidated.

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