I'm breaking one of my own rules here, folks: when I started up this blog, I promised myself that any late-night writing would be saved and reviewed for coherence and topicality the next morning. Tonight's a little different, though; honestly, how often does the fake rapture come around? Too often, I know, so let's rephrase: how often does an aggressively promoted fake rapture come around? Kind of like a comet or an eclipse, it's worth staying up for.
Allow me to channel my inner Richard Dawson: survey says! It's quarter to three in the morning here in New York, which makes it forty-five minutes past 6 PM in New Zealand. Out of one hundred people surveyed, none of them have felt an earthquake or ascended into the sky. Sorry, Camping family, but you don't get to play Fast Money today. We won't let you leave empty-handed, though: enjoy a year's supply of turtle wax and this video from Blondie:
Sweet dreams, fellow sinners. More mockery tomorrow.