By now, it should come as no surprise that I’m not the sort of guy who would be all that interested in the imminent royal wedding. I’ve got nothing against anyone who’s into it – that’s why there are all different flavors of entertainment, after all – but as a cynical Yankee, and a Noo Yawker at that, I just can’t really be bothered to care all that much. I’m sure that Kate’s dress is simply to die for, I’m sure that the entire ceremony will be resplendent with grandeur, I’m sure that millions across the globe will “ooh” and “ahh” at the appropriate moments, I’m sure that there’s at least a 50% chance that I’d know William by sight if I saw him on the street, and most of all I’m sure that TruTV will likely have an episode of Bait Car or some such nonsense that I can watch instead.
Or at least I was sure of all of those things. Truth be told, I was still sure of them when the first email arrived in my inbox, and I was still relatively sure of them when the second and third arrived. By the time the album pre-order link and
Facebook FAQ page [since removed, replaced by this] went up, I had to begin to take the subject line of all of these emails seriously: RICHARD CHEESE TO PERFORM AT THE ROYAL WEDDING. Even if you have no idea who he is, I’m sure you can understand why I might think a performer who may or may not be named after smegma wasn’t exactly telling the truth about his involvement in an event that will be seen by the entire freaking free world.
In case you aren’t familiar with Mr. Cheese, here’s some background: essentially, he has made a decade-plus career out of taking Bill Murray’s classic Saturday Night Live lounge singer shtick to (and perhaps far beyond) its logical conclusion. Years ago, I picked up one of his albums on a New Years Eve whim; it seemed the perfect joke for that particular occasion. Since then, I’ve come to regard him as a first-class comedian; what should be a one-note joke becomes enduringly funny due to Dick’s sharp wit, and also due to the obvious care he puts into his recordings. As fine as his records are, you’ve really got to see his live show to completely appreciate the man; I have twice, and both times I woke up the next day with sore cheeks from laughing so much. If you’re curious to hear for yourself, there’s a decent enough studio greatest hits, but I’d actually recommend his live album, Viva la Vodka, ahead of it.
And, somehow, he’s now playing the royal wedding. Let’s sum it all up, shall we?
Richard Cheese: awesome in his own right.
Richard Cheese playing at the royal wedding reception: astounding, but amazing.
The fact that the aforementioned has gotten me vaguely interested in the royal wedding: proof that maybe these Brits are craftier than previously thought.
Pre-order for resulting Richard Cheese live album: placed.
The capacity of the world and all its wonder to shock and amaze: limitless.
The fact that the word “smegma” is not in Microsoft Word’s spell-check dictionary: hilarious.