Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Title of the Second Track is Quite the Lie...


I meant every nice thing I said about Steven Tyler back in this piece, and I certainly have nothing against any of the music that Aerosmith recorded in its first decade and a half or so.  I agree in theory that this would be the perfect time for a judiciously selected compilation for the band, given that there’s clearly no new material in their chute.  This, however, may be the single worst track listing I’ve ever seen for a compilation by anyone.  Seriously – look at this garbage:

1. Angel
2. Amazing
3. Love in an Elevator
4. Cryin'
5. What It Takes
6. Rag Doll
7. Crazy
8. Deuces Are Wild
9. Livin' On the Edge
10. Blind Man
11. Janie's Got a Gun
12. Dream On

Given that this is a Geffen product, you can likely bet your bottom download that “Dream On”, which I’d cite as the only A-list song on this mess artistically speaking, is probably some lousy latter-day live version.  Also, on what planet is “Love in an Elevator” considered a ballad?  Adolescent tripe sadly written by middle-aged men, sure, but at least it’s got a friggin’ beat to it.

You know what?  I’ve probably now spent more time analyzing this drivel than whichever corporate lackey got the assignment put into the track list and the my-first-day-with-Photoshop art combined.  Moving on.

Recommended only if you spend a lot of time in elevators…with your clothes on.

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